Currently Still Dancin see related

did you ever notice how a bible story you have heard all of your life can one day in your late 30’s (okay you young bucks… IMAGINE, okay?) show you something you have always missed before?  consider the woman with the issue of blood (matt. 9:20-22; mark 5:25-34; luke 8:43-48)… i had always heard that this woman had “so much faith that she just needed to touch His hem to be healed.”  this, of course, is true, but there is more.  she was AFRAID to face Him… she wasn’t being noble by not bothering Him, she didn’t feel she was worthy to TALK to Him.

most of the folks that exercised faith to get to Jesus focused on getting to SEE Him… not to touch Him… they waited for Him to touch them… or they realized that He didn’t even HAVE to touch them to be healed… think about it.

so, what does this mean for me?  it means that i have only learned PART the Truth about Jesus (surprise there).  for half of my life, i thought there was something special about going to the altar to meet Jesus… there was healing there, Jesus was there, it was “holy ground”… about 14 years ago, i began to understand that i didn’t need to go “down front” to encounter God… i could crawl right up in His lap and hold and be held by Him right where i was (in the pews… in my car… at home…).  this is good.  this is VERY good. but it’s not the whole story.

i realize that i have been touching His hem… but avoiding eye contact with Him… whether i am curled up in His lap or walking side-by-side with Him… i am being a "man"… not His child… do you know what i mean by that?  i realize the significance of that moment and His desire for relationship and intimacy… but i give Him contact and presence… i will get in His presence… i will even hold His hand or crawl in His lap… but i will COMPLETELY avoid eye-contact.  i won’t look Him in the face.  (are you with me, "men"?)  i begin to understand that if i can keep from looking Him in the face, then i am fooling myself into thinking that He doesn’t see me… the He really doesn’t SEE me with all my junk and all my shortcomings… and all my {gulp} sin.

it’s silly, right?  but it’s SOOO real to me… i am that woman… i KNOW that i will be whole if i just touch His hem… and i will go through GREAT lengths to get in His presence and do just that... but i will take even MORE effore to avoid eye-contact.  the Truth is that He already KNOWS my stuff… but even that is not the WHOLE Truth… the rest of the Truth is that it’s already paid for.  by His grace, it’s not even there to SEE anymore… i don’t HAVE “an issue of blood” or a “hemorrhage” any more… so i AM whole… and not only do i not have a REASON to avoid that face time… but each time i have touched Him… He KNEW… and He wanted to redeem that moment and have face time with me… but unlike this woman who confessed everything... i kept moving. i want that to change... and so does He!

Daddy, there are not enough words to completely tell You how much You mean to me… and how i realize just how patient You have been (and continue to be) with me.  and i am grateful that You already know.  i LOVE You, and as much as i want to touch You more… i want to FACE You more!  when i try to sneak in unnoticed, call me out like you did this woman… knowing full well who touched you asked “who touched Me?”… and like this woman, let me confess that it was me… tell You why and look you in the face.  Daddy, i am still just learning what it means to be Your son… but EVERYTHING i am learning is sooo much more than i could ever understand without such an incredible and amazing Daddy.  thank You.

-so be it!