okay, so i want to be a counselor… that is the desire of my heart, even though that was not the picture i had of my desire early on… it has come clearly into focus that this is the next step.  i have quit my job and embarked in grad school and had a stellar first semester.  this semester i am taking a class about basing interviewing/counseling… keep in mind i have 20 years of lay-youth ministry under my belt and nearly 7 years of working in mental health to draw from… we turned in our first video and i was given the following feedback:

“don’t be so directive, help your client find their own conclusion and decision.”

good feedback… but let me tell you that as a merciful prophet (i took the “test” twice!), it is really hard to know the “right” answer and “let” people “miss it” several times before they “get it right”.  of course i saw the flaw in my thinking, but i did not know if i could change that aspect in how i talk with people…

then i heard an amazing life story from jason upton… he shared how his then his son and his nephew were in the back seat of his car and they were discussing the deity of Jesus… (note that his nephew has a father who is muslim) and his son was trying to establish that Jesus is, in fact, God… he reached the point when he elicited his dad’s help, “tell him, dad!”

jason then shifted the story to reveal his thoughts and heart… he could support his son and proclaim the Truth… which would show a great disrespect for his nephew’s family, and likely eliminating (at the very least, minimizing) opportunities to SHOW God’s Love in future… or he could speak Truth that includes the Love that God is all about… his answer was simple… “of course i believe that Jesus is God… and i know that you believe that Jesus is God… but it is okay for [nephew] not to believe that…”

WHAT????  it’s actually okay NOT to have all the answers??? or if you HAVE the answer, not to share it completely??? jason explained that it is his [our] responsibility to be the Love of God… to see God in each and every moment… and to help others discover for THEMSELVES where God is in their “now”… HOW RIDICULOUSLY SIMPLE!!!

so how does this apply to my counseling technique?  simple… i no longer see my role as the source of answers… or wisdom or anything else… i see myself as a being along for the ride and having the privilege of experiencing how God shows up in their “now”… how do i do that?  is ask questions instead of giving answers… and in the questions, i don’t lead them in the direction of the “kenn” answer… i leave the path completely open so they choose their own course and explore their surroundings for themselves… (what am i, a back street driver?)

the proof that this actually shifted my perspective, my professor’s review of my last practice session (wednesday) not only did she note that i did not use leading questions, she actually said she had no recommendations for improvement (God… can i just tell the world how awesome you are?!!)

to those of you whom i have lead or given unwanted/unsolicited advice or counsel… i apologize… if it rings true and spurs conviction… well, that part you’ll have to take up with God

[wink!]